My father is an extremely proud US Veteran of Foreign Wars (Viet Nam, Da Nang, 70-71). I was born after his service, so one might wonder what I know of what it means to be a veteran. After certain extremely tense and painful experiences recently, I feel so moved to write down not only what I have seen, but what my family and I have experienced as the relatives of a hero, from the beginning. This is our story, but so many have one like it.
- As the wife of a veteran it means means celebrating your husband's return in 1971, only to have his (alleged) exposure to Agent Orange strike him down shortly after with terminally diagnosed cancer.
- As the first two children of that veteran means living with years of cancer treatments, hospitalizations and an incredibly ill Daddy.
-Being a veteran, fuck that terminal diagnose - years of experimental treatments later and you beat the "99% fatal" odds.
-Being that veteran means that the experimental treatments become standard, and the experiments ravaged upon your dying body are refined, taking Lymphoma from "99%" fatal to almost "99%" treatable. Even when you're not trying, you give back.
- As the later in life daughter of a veteran it meant having to explain why an entire room in our house was themed "USA". Everything from the paint on the walls to the curtains to the throw pillows to the decorative books on the (navy blue) trunk were themed "America".
- Being a veteran, life is never easy, and it this case it means the experimental Lymphoma treatments come back for their revenge in the form of unknowingly permanently damaged arteries. It means a perfectly healthy looking man will now undergo a quintuple heart bypass. It also means that the government still acknowledges no culpability that Agent Orange is at the bottom of all of this, so hopefully this veteran has VERY good insurance.
- As the family, this means life is once again uprooted as this veteran almost dies again. It also means that this family discovers how wonderful their friends and neighbors are who step up to take care of the youngest daughter, provide food and shelter for her when needed, and help in any way they can.
- Still no acknowledgment, thank you, or apology from the government, and CERTAINLY no financial assistance. Not that a veteran would ever ask.
- As a veteran, you survive the quintuple heart bypass, only to be diagnosed with two different cancers over the next 8 years. You survive those as well as a strong, proud, American veteran.
- As the later in life daughter you begin to do research, and realize that the headaches and migraines that plague you on a weekly/daily basis have been correlated to the offspring of AO exposed Viet Nam veterans. All of this, however, is ALLEGED. No Agent Orange to see here.
- As a veteran, you finally retire from your job, and begin to live your dream life with your wife in Florida, surrounded by other veterans who can nod at each other every day and say, "I know".
- As a veteran, your dream life is derailed as more of these allegedly associated medical conditions begin to wreck havoc on your ability to do anything, and your bypasses begin to fail. The system put in place to serve you, however, is overloaded and underfunded - so the necessary tests are not ordered or performed. There is literally, "no room at the inn".
- As a veteran, your doctors stop calling you back, your appointments are months apart, and they begin cutting down on your desperately needed pain medication - often all without speaking to you.
- As a veteran, the only time you get necessary treatments is when you collapse and have to be taken to the emergency room via an ambulance - and ONLY if you go to a non VA hospital.
- As the veteran you sink deeper and deeper into a dark place as your pain becomes worse and worse with no end in sight.
- As the family of a veteran, you become desperate, one daughter goes straight to the top and communicates with the office of the Vice President of the United States, the other daughter appeals to social media and inundates the VA with dozens of emails from concerned parties.
- As the VA, fearing a media storm, you acquiesce and arrange treatments to happen as soon as is possible. The family begins to wonder what happens to the veterans who do not have people to respond like this.
- The family remains optimistic, but counts down the days until this veteran can remove himself from VA treatments and get away from the care that was allegedly designed to honor and treat such a hero who has given so much for his country. The care that has almost killed him.
- As a veteran, you hobble out each day and ensure that your well loved American flag is hanging straight, isn't frayed, and is still in honorable condition. Because you are a veteran, and you love the country that you have served. That honor is strong and unwavering, despite being forgotten, despite being looked over, despite your country not honoring you.
A veteran is a man or woman who has given their all in the form of commitment, honor, or even their lives. They do, however, grow older, or sadder, or struggle, but are trained to endure. When told "we have no appointments for you" their responses are often, "Thank you, sir. I will call again tomorrow."
There is no greater tragedy, no Sisyphean story more heartbreaking than a man or woman who put everything on the line be turned away or forgotten by the government that they volunteered to serve. I write this to raise awareness, I write this to pour out my hurt and sadness that the man who taught me to love this country is being betrayed by it like so many others.
At the moment my family and I need no further help in the form of letters or phone calls, but if you are reading this, I will keep you in the loop should the VA renege on their promises again. As the family of a veteran you feel heartbreak for those that never returned as well as heartbreak to watch the sacrifices your loved one has made come to nothing. If you know a veteran keep them in your thoughts, and please reach out. They are veterans - they will not ask for help, they have been trained not to. We must step in where their training and government is failing them. We must be their support, their champions.
Thank you Brothers and Sisters, it is your turn to rest. We will take this watch.
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