SundarBazaar, Nepal

SundarBazaar, Nepal
Misty Mountains while trekking in Nepal

Monday, March 30, 2015

Indiana Is Not A Sinking Ship

And we shouldn't abandon it as such. I have received quite a few emails recently from organizations to which I am a member asking for my input regarding upcoming events that are potentially scheduled to be held in Indiana. Anyone who knows me, knows that I identify as as a cis-gender white female, but in front of all of that I identify as an ally to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, intersexed, pansexual, queer, questioning, and sexuality or gender-nonconforming, communities and individuals. I'm a giant fabulous supporter of the whole damn rainbow.

Nothing hurts my heart more than to hear that there are those who believe themselves more worthy of something over another person (protip: if you think you deserve a right, and that someone else doesn't  then you think your life is 'better' or 'correct' over theirs). I'm not really sure how the logic of "if this person can do this thing (dress this way, use this bathroom, have sex this way, love this person), it infringes on my rights" even computes - but then again I am a robot and I tend to reject idiocy as a reasoning.

To avoid my waxing eloquent for endless pages about why everyone it is so important to be an ally and understand that sharing privilege does not give you less I will attempt to concisely put below my responses to my professional organizations, and to anyone who has asked me to sign a petition to keep said events out of Indiana. Should you want to read endless pages, I direct you to my master's thesis on ally development - it's at the Eastern Illinois University online library. I challenge you not to fall asleep reading it. I shall attempt brevity and a vastly more interesting response below:

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Dear [Organization or Person]

I am providing feedback as solicited from the email on Friday. My response to the idea of moving [EVENT or MEETING]  is similar to the reason why I did not sign one of the petitions floating around there about moving [OTHER EVENT]. I don’t have enough information on the financial impact it would have on the membership in the form of canceled deposits and guarantees to hotels, hosting institutions, etc. Money cannot be the only factor, of course, but we are a dues paying organization (some of which are paid by members in Indiana), and it is irresponsible to not take it into consideration. If this will be a potentially burdensome change, I wonder if we cannot think of some better way to show our support to ALL of our members – including those that live inside the borders of Indiana.

It would take additional time and effort – and would be something that I would be happy to be a part of - but if we do not decide to move the [EVENT] perhaps research could be done to ensure that every vendor with whom we work has non-discrimination written into their company policies and a list could be complied of businesses in the neighborhoods that actively put themselves forward as accepting all customers regardless of any identities.

I can’t help but wonder if all of this “stay out of Indiana” petitioning isn't focusing on the wrong things. We have professionals, even LGBT professionals that live in Indiana. As much as I want to ensure my money is being spent in a responsible manner, I do not want them to feel abandoned.


Thank you for your time in reading my thoughts, I wish you and everyone luck with this challenging decision.

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At the end of the day, it isn't about the money, it's about the membership. We, those of us who don't live in Indiana (or any of the other states who have laws like this - you don't stand alone in this shameful decision, IN), have the privilege of walking away, of choosing not to visit or spend our money there. Or, we can do what we as allies are sworn to do - not abandon our brethren. We can be informed consumers, we can research WHERE we will spend our money and find the businesses that provide non-discriminatory service. This was not a blanket decision of the entire state, just one that effects those who live and visit. We can stand tall, cloaked in our protective privilege and say "this is enough". It's really hard to do that while shouting across the border. 

My values have steered me away from many a thing (RIP Chick fil A sauce) but it isn't a thing we are fleeing from, it is our friends and colleagues who need our help. Indiana is not hopeless; it is not sinking. Join me in my research! Identify worthy industries and businesses - it isn't even that hard - they are making themselves very well known. Lastly, get back in the boat and grab a bucket. Bailing out the waves of intolerance gets harder with the less people who are there to help. We cannot give up our allyship because we don't like the fight. Now is the time to dig in our heels, and stand as the example. To my friends in Indiana, I hope to see you at my conferences, I hope to provide worthy money to those who provide services to all, and most of all I look forward to the day when we can see this overturned. The more of us in the fight, the closer that day gets. 

--
Miranda Ambuske-Perry
Ally

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