How do you say "today is a bad day. A worst day."? Do you just say those words? Do you use that vocabulary when your exhaustion shows and you've been told for the fifth time that you look like hell?
What if they start noticing that ponytail days mean one of two things: I was in a rush, or I just couldn't do it today.
What about when you lose something, everything, for the tenth time, and it's painful to think that you just have to look again, because it's probably in the purse you checked four times already? How do you explain the feeling of despair that you get when you find it, because honestly, you already looked there.
Today I am a shade, a shadow of myself. Today everything is painful.
Not outwardly however, because life, in all of its trenchant ironies deems that only the effect should be seen, not the cause.
How do you say that I have given my very best, and it hasn't been enough.
Probably with the same Sisyphean effort that goes into the words that follow the above declarations:
"I will try again tomorrow."
SundarBazaar, Nepal
Misty Mountains while trekking in Nepal
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