It's been a while.

It seems hopeless at times to attempt a catch up when I've let a blog/journal lie fallow. I feel, as is common for me, that I am forever catching up to things only struggle so hard to get to where I started - the present. The muse to write left me for a long time. I can't even bring myself to chronicle one of the most meaningful years of my life, thus far - besides those 1st five where I learned a my life skills. I'm getting married this year and while excited, I haven't been drawn to write about it. That has made me a little bit sad.

I have thought on why I have been lacking motivation quite often. It doesn't help that it has been one of the toughest years of my life. My family is the hot mess that the excel at being, my grandmother passed away, my sister and I barely speak, and my mother is incredibly sick. Oh, and I hate my job. Not the actual job, but the department I work for. I work in a place where I feel unsupported and like I am fighting an uphill battle every day. Sadly, my muse has failed me in the realm of cover letters, so I have been less that productive in rectifying my job issues.

It's funny how this began as a mental post about my weight loss, and evolved into a status report. Welcome [as predescribed] to the present.

As I get tired, the less I want to continue.

Good night.