I'm at work right now, taking a mental health break. My stress level is reaching epic proportions, and I'm recognizing the need to take a time out and recenter for a moment. It helps that I'm the only person in the office, and everyone above me in the department is in a meeting - meaning that I am very unlikely to be called for anything.
Stress Load, the Dumping Ground:
1. Money. I have found myself suddenly in a situation where, no matter how hard I work, I make the same amount of money. This is not unusual. Every salaried worker in the world knows what this feels like - overtime? Same amount? Work less (yay!) same amount. This leads to wonderful things like paid vacation and sick days - but also means when I suddenly go on a spending spree, or when EVERYONE I KNOW has a massive life event requiring presents at the SAME DAMN TIME, I can't work extra to keep myself at the mean. This is disconcerting and upsetting to me, especially considering the amount of money spent last month, to be spent this month and the fact that I'm attempting to save for a wedding. Money makes me anxious on normal days. This is just ridiculous.
2. Family. They are currently in all aspects, batshit off their rockers at the moment. And I was a bad family member this week. That doesn't help at all. I really don't want to go in to this any more.
3. Wedding Dress. I found it - after exhaustive searching. It's 4 hours away. I don't even know if it will look nice on my body or what. All I know is that I will 'what if' myself to death if I don't try this dress on. Small town in MI road trip anyone? WHAT IF THEY SELL IT BEFORE WE GET THERE???
4. Work. I'm still puzzling this one out. I really don't think I'm in the right place.
5. Here's a minor one - but still stressful. I'm on Duty this week. Shoot me in the face.
I need to get my anxiety under control. I never used to be this bad, and it drives me nuts.
No comments:
Post a Comment